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All i want in life is to lose weight and gain money yet instead, here i am, gaining weight and losing money
You don't really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them.
Television + food, it just goes together
Stop complaining about being single on valentines day. We have bigger problems here, like why McDonald's doesn't serve breakfast after 10:30
Poor alcohol, it gets blamed for everything.
If you drink enough fluids in the morning, you will feel happier, sharper, and more energetic throughout the day.
I'm the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.
Eating popcorn: 80% during trailers. 20% during the movie.
Best Food Status For Whatsapp
really doesn't get why people like brunch. What's the benefit of combining break-dancing and lunch?
You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream. And that's kind of the same thing.
When you're stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate, and sweets.. Why? Because 'Stressed' spelled backwards is 'Desserts' :)
When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if other people can hear it too.
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, "Don't eat me." Now there's an empty plate and a note, Don't tell me what to do.
Okay, can someone please invent the opposite of a microwave. I need my beer cold, now. And no, the freezer is not fast enough :)
My diabetic friend died in his sleep. I forgot to wish him "sweet dreams."'
Just finished my 6 minute upper body workout-it was pretty easy:arm down,pick up food,arm up,put food in mouth, switch arms :)
Eating an orange before working out not only keeps you hydrated but also keeps your muscles from getting sore
Accomplishing things before the microwave hits 00:00.
Most Popular Status on Food
True beauty is within" for example opening your fridge
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
Nothing says "I've already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
Mom, can we go to McDonalds?" "there's food in the fridge." "That's not what I asked..
Isn't it weird that after 30,000 years of eating bread, everyone is gluten allergic now?
Is there gonna be food?" "Yeah""Ok then i'm coming.
If you say you can't cook what your really saying is that you can't read and follow directions.
If there is no chocolate in heaven.. I AM NOT GOING !
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
I want a hot body but I also want hot wings.
Food is my favorite. If I ever share it with you, then you're pretty damn special.
Food Status For Whatsapp
You cannot taste me, until you undress me. Sincerely, banana.
We've solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
The only clubs I'm into are sandwiches.
My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
Is there gonna be food? "Yeah" Ok then i'm coming.
If you open your fridge and find nothing to eat, lower your standards.
If history has taught us anything, it's that reheated french fries are gross.
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn't be called nachos.
I'm trying to kick dairy and now I've got the milk shakes.
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
Hell hath no fury like me when I'm slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
Dear food commercials, No one eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people..
Dear Fridge, I will be back in 35 minutes, please go shopping. Sincerely, Hungry as hell!
Chips have little nutritional value. That's why you need to eat the whole bag.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
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my hobbies include eating and complaining that i'm getting fat.
You're at Starbucks? Please post pictures of your coffee, I've never seen one before.
That moment when skinny people call themselves fat and your heavier than them.
That awkward moment when someone skinnier than you says "I'm so fat." and you stand there like (-_-)
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald�s doesn�t serve breakfast after 10:30.
Men: Uses love to get sex. Women: Uses sex to get love. Me: Uses coupons to get pizza.
I'm so excited for Valentines Day all the chocolate is gonna be on sale YAY
I just stepped on a cornflake. Now, I am officially a cereal killer.
Hiding your favorite food from the rest of your family because you're a selfish bitch.
Dear Vegetarians, If you love animals so much, then why do you keep eating all their food?
Arizona 99 cent drinks are the shit. Period.