Creative Whatsapp Status
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
The best part about daylight savings is that the clock in my car is correct again.
The 'Earth' without 'Art' is just 'EH'.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.
Impossible only means that you haven't found the solution yet.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
Crying doesn't indicate that you're weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you're alive.
All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.
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The past tense of wink is wunked.
Single? Taken? I'm just ready for summer 2016.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.
Just high fived that wall with my face.
I'm drinking like there's snow tomorrow.
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
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Whenever someone says to me 'Things could be worse' I punch them in the face and say 'Like that?'
Tough times never last, tough people do.
That awkward moment when you don't know how to reply to a really sweet text.
Saying 'What?' And then realizing what they said a second later.
I've set my 'life goals' to stuff I've already done so literally every day now I'm overachieving. It's all about perspective.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
Admit it, you are not the same person you were a year ago.
Actions speak louder than words, so believe what you see and forget what you heard.
'I don't watch tv' proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
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the best part about this status message is that by the time you've finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it.
Who remembers going on the computer as kids, just to go on paint and space pinball?
When someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, 'HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME.'
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today..
That awkward moment when you're at your friend's house and he is getting yelled at, so you just stand there and pet the dog.
Please hold, your call is important to us. Not 'hire more operators' important.. But like 'if you need to hang up, that's cool' important.
Just cause you're sleeping with someone doesn't automatically make them yours! If there's no commitment then it's all fair game!!
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If you're told you only have six months to live, immediately get married. It will make those six months seem like eternity.
Don't make me regret letting you merge into my lane. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
Amazon's recommendations are like that friend who heard you say 'ninja' once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
Topless pictures of the Royal Family don't shock me as much as pictures of them doing manual labor would.
My friends: wow what a perfect morning for a run. Me: wow what a perfect morning to go the heck back to sleep.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?